


Whole Other Birthday Suit

by Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 11:06:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1145233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw/pseuds/Turn_of_the_Sonic_Screw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Eleventh Doctor is more than a little surprised by the guest River brings along on their date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whole Other Birthday Suit

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at eleventy-kink.livejournal.com at: http://eleventy-kink.livejournal.com/365.html?thread=1714285t1714285
> 
> The future Doctor in this story is female, and brown-skinned (I imagine that she looks vaguely Mediterranean/Middle Eastern-ish) and physically youthful (I'm tagging underage just to be safe, because in my mind, she looks fifteen or sixteen, but she's actually the oldest person in a room of very old people, and it isn't even close). She isn't having any appearance-driven hormonal issues that would impact consent-giving, either. Mentally and emotionally, she's centuries upon centuries old, and fully mature.

The Doctor whistled merrily as he spun through the console room, twisting knobs and slapping buttons. Ponds dropped safely in Upper Leadworth? Check. Dalek plan blown to oblivion? Check! Date night with the missus? Definitely check! He laughed aloud and clicked his heels as the TARDIS landed in a nearby park. He was still whistling when he reached the little New New Parisian bistro.

“Reservation, monsieur?” 

“Table for two, the Doctor.”

The android maitre 'd cocked its head to one side. “Not found.”

He rolled his eyes in response. “Table for two, John Smith?” He guessed.

“Not found.”

“Try table for three, River Song,” a rich, feminine voice suggested. “Sorry, honey,” she apologized and drew him into a kiss. “Things came up and I had to change our reservation.” Standing next to her was a teenage girl.

***

The Doctor waited until they were inside before saying anything, in an unusual display of restraint. “Hello, I'm the Doctor!” he introduced himself to the girl.

“I know,” she replied, voice peevish.

“Excuse me,” an older woman from the next table leaned over. “I just wanted to say how nice it is that the two of you youngsters are taking your mother out to eat.” She looked up and away, clearly thinking of someone else, but missing the icy glares from all three of the people she was nominally addressing. “Some families don't have that kind of closeness...they just grow apart...” She realized they were staring at her, and blushed. “I suppose I was rambling a bit, and interrupting. Please forgive an old lady her indiscretion.” 

“Of course,” River told her, feeling sorry for her despite her faux pas. 

The Doctor, on the other hand, was too terrified to say anything for the moment. The girl had a light-brown complexion, but with Time Lords, that hardly mattered. “River,” he asked, “she's not our daughter, is she?”

“Don't be silly,” River replied. “Us? Raise a child?”

“I'm you,” the girl continued. “Will be you, a few regenerations from now.”

“Really?” the Doctor asked. “But I'm—”

“Yes, yes, the last one.” The girl waved her hand. “There are ways around the limit, you know that. I suppose the cat's out of the bag now, though you'll forget by the time it happens, as I recall.”

“So I wind up being a girl?” the male Doctor asked. “How's that treating me?”

“Not bad,” she replied. “I've had a few female bodies by now—this regeneration cycle is a lot more flexible than the last one. Not that that's hard; I mean, really, thirteen white blokes in a row? That's impressive.”

“Thank you,” the male Doctor replied, tone wavering from pride to embarrassment with surprising ease.

“Anyway, the worst bit is being so young!” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, can you picture me telling someone that I'm the Oncoming Storm? Nobody takes me seriously! I actually have to have a plan instead of trading on my terrifying appearance and hoping they all back down, though I suppose you'd know something about that yourself.” The male Doctor narrowed his eyes at his future self. 

“On the bright side, this body is very energetic,” River pointed out. 

“River!” The male Doctor's eyes went as big as Dalek saucers. “Look at her! She's—”

“Thousands of years old,” River concluded dryly. “I know. Hard to believe. And a demon in the sack. Now quit gaping and pick something from the menu.” She smirked gleefully. “There's so much to choose from.”

***

River and the Doctors went back to the female Doctor's TARDIS, tucked into a back alley. “I'll let the two of you catch up,” River cooed. “I just need to freshen up a touch.”

The male Doctor turned to his elder counterpart. “Look, I don't know how much you can say, but this is going to be my first time with River, and she is our wife, so...”

“You'll be fine,” the female Doctor. She hesitated. “Look, I've already been through this as you, so the ball's in your court: do you want to?...”

The male Doctor blushed. “Sure, why not? As long as you don't mind, of course.” 

They shared a laugh. “We haven't yet!” they chorused.

River returned to the bedroom. Both Doctors gulped; they had the distinct impression that she no longer had a stitch on beneath her dress. “Let's get my poor blushing husband out of his tweed,” she said, and the two women stalked him like wolves.

“Be gentle with the bowtie!” he pleaded as the female Doctor snapped one of his braces.

“Of course!” River said, which surprised him given how destructive she tended to be towards his clothing. “We'll be wanting it later,” she breathed in his ear. “Now stop flapping your arms like that, or we'll never get you out of that jacket.”

“Yes, dear.” He moaned as they spun him around and stripped him out of his clothes. Usually he rather liked a bit of angular momentum, but there weren't usually warm, female hands pressing against his body, fiddling with buttons and zippers. He opened his eyes when it was all over. “Well, that wasn't too bad.”

The two women glanced down at his sizable erection. “I should say not,” the female Doctor began.

“Not bad at all,” River added, giving him a comforting stroke. He gulped and their eyes met and shifted to the oldest person in the room. “Well,” she began, peeling off her dress, “that leaves one of us. Care to give us a show?” She led the male Doctor to the bed and sat him down in the middle, curling up next to him to watch as the female Doctor unbuttoned a close-fitting crimson cardigan, then her blouse, before tossing both of them off at once. “Wouldn't do for you to come too soon,” she whispered as the female Doctor unclasped her bra. “But a bit of teasing won't go awry.”

“Blimey, do I really have breasts in the future? Like that?” He brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I thought I was a girl for about a minute when I regenerated.” 

“This skirt's not the best for showing off,” the female Doctor said of the flowing hounds-tooth wool that reached down to her calves. “But it has pockets! And I can run in it!” She laughed and flung it across the room. 

“But can you run in your stockings?” the male Doctor rejoined, and got a pair of panties in the nose for his trouble. “That was—” His clever rejoinder died unfinished as she walked towards them, untying the paisley cravat around her throat and setting it down meaningfully next to his bowtie. 

“You might as well bring those over here,” River whispered.

“River, I—”

“Hush, husband: it's your first time; you'll never last if you set the tempo.” She smiled in that sort of melancholy, wistful way that he had been seeing quite a few times of late: first kiss, first date; last date, last kiss. And now, last shag. Well, he mused as they tied his wrists to the headboard, the least he could do was make it a good one. Well, let her make it a good one. Well, let her and himself make it a good one. Well, her and his future female self, he amended as he watched the two of them play at the foot of the bed. He fidgeted, as much as his current state would allow, trying to get the best possible view of the two gorgeous women sharing a smooth, passionate kiss. 

“Soon, love, soon,” River said as they broke the kiss, and turned to touch him, hands like phantoms on the soles of his feet and the outsides of his calves and—oh!--on the crooks of his knees. “I'd forgotten how nice those gangly legs of yours look when you're uncontrollably horny and writhing for more,” she said, smiling and looking as close to beatific as it was possible for River Song to do. Not very, he decided a blink later as her mouth was on his tip. 

His future self had moved with surprising grace to coil by his head; her nipples brushed one ear, her tongue the other. “That's good, isn't it?” she whispered, breath carrying a shiver down his spine. 

“Oh...oh, yes. Yes, it is.” He stopped, realizing that River has stopped as well, and is now...slinking? Crawling? Up his body, letting tight, golden curls and the tips of her full breasts tease unreadable patterns on his skin. “Please?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely...” She straightened up and eased herself down and around him.

“Nice to let someone else take control for a little while, isn't it?” the future Doctor whispered. “To let the weight of the universe slide from your shoulders, if only for a few blessed minutes. And speaking of the divine...” They paused to watch as River rode him magnificently, hands cupping her wonderfully ripe breasts as they bounced, eyes wide open and hungry. “Of course, just because you're on the bottom doesn't mean you can't steer things. Little flinches, hard bucks, tensing your thighs just so...” she kissed him on the cheek. “You'll know when you've done it right,” she continued before bouncing up and behind River. “Because she'll gasp...just...so...” He exhaled heavily as he watched his future self fondle their wife. “Ah, yes, that's the one,” she noted as River gasped. “Just about ready to...” she trailed off as they both came. “Simultaneous orgasm. Very hard to achieve outside of porn...unless you have a Gallifreyan's sense of timing.” She grinned as River slid off of him and freed his wrists. “Fortunately, we've got the whole night to test that theory across all possible permutations. Top and bottom, side to side, upside down...” 

“Shut up and find out how you used to taste,” River told her, and the past Doctor sat up to watch as his future self's head ducked between River's thighs. It was going to be one hell of an educational opportunity, and he didn't plan on missing a single sexy minute of it.


End file.
